Why Mugging is a Good Thing
by live2tivo
Summary: A BadFic. The badness is intentional. I wrote this a long time ago and just realized it wasn't up here yet. Read. Review. You know the drill.


**_My real form_**

**Title: **Why mugging is a good thing**  
****Author: **Live2tivo (aka Tally) **  
****Feedback: **is as good as this fic is bad**  
****Pairing: **Mark/Roger and Joanne/Maureen**  
****Word Count: **928 (I know, it's really short) **  
****Rating: **NC-17 Badness not safe for anyone under the age of 17

**Genre:** Parody/Humor/Romance/Crap**  
****Summary: **Just take every RENTdom cliché ever and combine it. And that's the fic.**  
****Notes: **All misspelled names are intentional. If you've ever read any of my other fics, you'll know I really know how to spell Roger, Maureen, Mark, and Joanne. It's just supposed to be a bad fic. **  
****Special Thanks: **To shotaphile for making the "Things that you learn from reading RENT fanfiction" list that gave me the plot (or lack thereof) in this fic.**  
****Spoilers:** This might turn you off of RENT for all of eternity**  
****Warnings: **REALLY Bad.**  
****Disclaimer: **I don't own RENT or Shotaphile's list that inspired this.

**_My fake form_**

**Title: **Why mugging is a good thing (Isn't that a great title? I LOVE that title. Don't you think that's an awesome title?)**  
****Author: **Live2tivo (aka Tally aka THE BEST WRITER EVER!) **  
****Feedback: **is good. No flames please. I worked really hard on this.**i****  
****Pairing: **Marc/Rodger and JoAnna/Morreen**  
****Word Count: **928. I can't believe it's so long!**  
****Rating: **R—I mention sex

**Genre: **Romance/Drama/Angst/Awesomeness**  
****Summary: **Mimi is dead. Marc gets mugged. You have to read to see what happens after that, but I promise it's awesome. **  
****Notes: **My first fic. I worked really hard on it. I hope you liked this.**  
****Special Thanks: **To God, for giving me all of my amazing writing talent.**  
****Spoilers: **Rodger and Collins have AIDS. **  
****Warnings: **Mentions sex and homosexuality. Character death. Don't like, don't read. Also, as a warning, this fic is so amazingly awesome that it will make you feel as if all of your fics are inadequate. **  
****Disclaimer:** I don't own RENT. It belongs to the late, great Jonathan Larson. All I own is this fic and my amazing writing skills.

AT THE LOFT

"Hey, Rodger?" The filmmaker asked his musician roommate.

"Yes, Marky?" Replied the musician.

"Do you want some tea?" The filmmaker asked.

"No thank you, Marc, tea makes me gag. I don't why you buy so much tea. You're the only one who drinks it." Rodger replied, as he tried to play "Musetta's Waltz."

"You've been so mean since Mimi died."

"I can't help it. I've been overcome with grief. I never could have seen this coming. It's not like she was that sick, anyway."

"She had AIDS, Rog. Of course she was _that _sick."

The phone rang. They let it go to voice mail.  
"Hey, it's Morreen. Come with me and JoAnna to the Life tonight. C'mon. I know you're there. Pick up. All you ever eat is Cap'n Crunch. We'll pay. We need to get some Miso Soup or Soy burgers in you two. Call me. Oh, and Rodger, you should just get over Mimi. It's been 3 months."

"Can you believe her?" Rodger asked.

"Why does she think that we only ever eat Cap'n Crunch?"

"Because," Rodger pointed to the half eaten bowl of cereal in front of the filmmaker, "we do."

"You haven't eaten anything since Mimi died. Good thing you've at least been remembering to take your AZT." Mark said, completely ignoring the fact that if Rodger hadn't eaten anything in three months, he wouldn't have to worry about his AZT, as he would be dead.

"By the way, I'm running out. Can you go get me some more?"

"Sure. Just let me grab my camera."

"I'm going to stay here and wallow in self pity."

'Why don't you go to Life Support?"

"Because there's no meeting today."

"Really," the filmmaker was puzzled, "I thought there was a meeting 24seven."

"Nope. But it does feel that way sometimes."

"Bye, Rodger."

"Bye, Marky."

"Don't call me that."

ON THE STREET (Like the song. Hehe)

Marc had just gotten back from picking up Rodger's pills and was 2 blocks away from the loft when a man jumped out from an alleyway and pushed him to the ground. Marc was beat up and raped and the man stole Rodger' medicine and Marc's coat leaving him freezing in the snow, even though it was technically in the middle of May. Luckily, his camera was left unscathed. He was breathing heavily and could hardly move. Luckily, Rodger just happened to be walking by, having miraculously decided to leave the loft for the first time in months. He heard someone breathing in the alley and decided to see who it was. Immediately his thoughts turned to his roommate.

"Marc?"

"Rodger? Rodger is that you?"

"Yeah."

Rodger, who was amazingly strong, despite the fact he had AIDS, carried Marc all the way back to the loft.

IN THE LOFT

Marc had curled up into a ball at one of the ends of the couch. Rodger came up and consoled him. This resulted in a long kiss. Neither knew who had started it, but neither wanted to end it. Forgetting the fact that Rodger has AIDS, they headed into Marc's bedroom and had hot sweaty mansex.

Unfortunately, they forgot that Morreen and JoAnna were coming over, and the lesbian couple was surprised to see that neither Marc nor Rodger were there. Then, Morreen heard sounds coming from Marc's room. JoAnna and Morreen were shocked to see Marc and Rodger lying naked on top of the bed, engaging in hot, sweaty mansex.

"It's about time!" Morreen exclaimed, causing the two of them to break apart. Marc was blushing bright red. Both were grinning from ear to ear. JoAnna and Morreen went home to have hot sweaty girlsex and Marc and Rodger went back to engaging in hot sweaty mansex.

TEN YEARS LATER A/N that's the year 2000. I'm as good at math as I am at writing

Science had finally developed a cure for AIDS. Both Rodger and Collins, who were miraculously still alive after all of this time, got it. A/N Marc didn't get AIDS. He and Rodger were really careful Marc and Rodger adopted 3 children. 2 girls, Mimi and Angel and one boy, Tom. Collins was still wasn't completely over Angel, but still wanted to live his life to the fullest. He adopted a daughter and named her Angel. And since there were now two Angels, Marc and Rodger called their Angel "Angie." Morreen and JoAnna also adopted. They had 2 boys – Adam and Anthony and two girls named Daphne and Rosario A/N They were only going to have one girl, but I didn't want to show favoritism towards any particular Mimi. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

I told you I'm an AMAZING writer!

* * *

Remember, this is a parody. 


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